I miss you, and I hate you for it. Every time I see you my heart still flutters a little. I miss being with you and telling you I love you every single day. Every time I hug you my lips are always right next to your neck, it takes so much not to kiss you. I smell you on all of my stuff and thats why I don't sleep in my room anymore. I know you feel it too, because I see you when you reach for my hand, or laugh at me and tell me I'm cute like you use to. And when you hold me by the waist when you say goodnight to me. And I meant it every time I told you I loved you, and still mean it every time I think about it.

Everything changed so fast and I only wish I could go back to when we were still happy and nothing mattered but us, and the old phrase "we'll find a way, we always do"
But even then, I wouldn't ever go back to you. It hurts too bad and it wouldn't ever be the same.
But you'll always own part of me

Since the moment I wake up, the only thing I can think about all day long is the moment I'll go to bed because maybe I'll see you in my dreams and we'll spend all night long together..

Nothing makes me happy. Nothing at this moment.

Not my job, not school, not even Modern Warfare 2.

Unfortunately, the only time when I'm happy is when I'm talking to Diana. But even then, theres a thought of "Why are we even talking? We have nothing to talk about. Why do I seem so needy?"

Fuck me. I want to die.

wake up, I'm trying to show you

I wanna come clean

you mean more than you should mean

but I'm willing to be

the one that you put on a pedestal

the one that you see in your dreams

the one that you hide your true self from

the one you want to please

and I know that it's wrong to want something

so false and so fake

it's not that I want to fix you

I just want to get my way

cause you're the one that I put on a pedestal

the one who keeps coming back to me

the one that I gave my whole heart to

the one who makes me believe

I want a love that's side by side

I want a love that holds me tight

I want a love that feels like a dream

but when I wake up, she's still there with me

so put me up on a pedestal

give me everything I need

but give it to me so completely

that there will be no more wishing

Waiting for You

I'm so empty and confused,
so lost without you,
it's a shame I don't know,
if your missing me too.

As I wait for you,
my tears they fall,
how I wish,
you would just call.

Feeling mislead and hurt,
and now all alone,
I wish my love,
to thee was known.

Whoever knew that love and pain,
could one suffer, all the same.
Full of regret and anger too, is it all worth it? All this for you?

Do I regret it?
I blame me,
for letting you in,
and planning what would be.

I miss you, my love,
I can't wait forever,
realize it soon,
don't wait till never.

This Nightmare

This is too overwhelming, too powerful,
The pain is too great, too controlling
I long to lose myself in your eyes,
Wipe the tears, create the smiles,
Shush the sobs, hear the laughs,
Reach out, feel you there,
Sleep at night, surrounded by your warmth.
This love crushes me, more than hate could,
my heart is restricting my breathing,
It tightens with every breath, each for you,
How I would give it up for you,
How I would give you it all,
Late at night, i feel for you,
you're never there, coldness becomes my cloak,
My arms ache for you, dreams are filled of you,
Why do they care so much, why do they interfer?
We do no harm, we've done nothing wrong,
I'm fed up of their remarks, their ideals,
I'm fed up of this life, this nightmare.

Broken

Nothing is in front of me
I feel I can't even breathe
Don't think that I can handle this


Can't even have company
Nobody can talk to me
I'm messed up
All that I find myself doing

Looking through my gallery
Drowning in my memories
I hate you for doing this to me

I wish.

I wish wishing on a star,
Would give me some kind of peace.
That it could bring me luck and help,
my issues all to cease.

I wish wishing on a star,
Brought me to lands far away.
Because the longer I am where I am,
The less I want to stay.

I wish wishing on a star,
Could fix everything between us.
Like magic or a miracle,
I wouldn't have lost your trust.

I wish wishing on a star,
Was really, really, true.
But all it's done for me so far,
Is helped me lose you.